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Jonathan Crain's avatar

Interesting article, Jo. I think you are onto something with right-wing women's aversion to feminism being rooted in a deep-seated need to navigate and survive within a male-dominated society--essentially prioritizing security over personal freedom.

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𝙅𝙀 βš’πŸ“–πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ's avatar

Yes, exactly.

Thank you so much for reading!

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Ivana Esther MartΓ­nez's avatar

This was thoughtfully written and you brilliantly wove together so many insightful socio-political plus historical threads. Thanks Jo!

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𝙅𝙀 βš’πŸ“–πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ's avatar

I'm so glad you liked it!

And thank you so much for reading it all - I know it was a long piece, but I really wanted to get all of those threads and insights in there.

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JaneE’s Musings's avatar

I saw white men with their Asian girlfriends in SE Asia and these men are repulsive. They are angry at the feminist movement and date these Asian women because of their stereotypes. Some are with the shit and others figure it out and run. The fetishization of Asian women is disgusting.

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𝙅𝙀 βš’πŸ“–πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ's avatar

I live in San Francisco; it's a trope here (that white software engineers date Asian-American women)....which is why I included it in my essay. I also advocate for survivors...and most of the assaulters I know about are white men assaulting Asian women - which, given the stereotype of "submissiveness" - you get it, I'm sure.

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JaneE’s Musings's avatar

I used to live in the Bay Area and saw it too. πŸ™„

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Shirley Fessel's avatar

β€œUgly” is right up there with β€œfat” but ugly is more often associated with witches, crones (sexually useless or independent) wisdom whereas fat signals not small enough to be dominated easily (sexually and socially useless).

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𝙅𝙀 βš’πŸ“–πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ's avatar

Yes, there are a bunch of different ways we can separate out "ugly", fat as you mentioned, and also of color, Dworkin mentioned stereotypes of Black and Jewish women, but I'd include stereotypes of Latina, Asian, Middle Eastern/Arab, or too educated, or too loud... all sorts of other qualities that fall under "ugly".

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Shreema Mehta's avatar

Thank you for another thoughtful article! I had a friend a long time ago who literally said to me, β€œyeah, I play dumb a lot.” She was not dumb, but she - correctly- reasoned she’d have a greater chance to succeed by conforming to a bland white patriarchy than by relying on her own talents and hard work. And she did succeed, in marrying a successful white man and having kids, which is what she wanted.

Also, re: Usha - I once read an article about JD Vance met his wife. He described her as a genetic anomaly - beautiful, smart, hardworking. Soo gross. Imagine having a romantic partner describe you as that. Because Usha is not white, she could not rely only on her good looks to succeed. But have they ever had that conversation? Probably not.

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𝙅𝙀 βš’πŸ“–πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ's avatar

This is a conversation I’ve had (the dumbing myself down to make men comfortable) AND another conversation I’ve had and know there are stats to support it is that Asian American women (East, South, South East, etc) often seek out white men and white communities to be adjacent to that privilege.

Usha also stayed with Vance even though he defended a DOGE worker who posted about β€œnormalizing Indian hate”. Which includes her, and their children.

I think it’s a risky bet to make - to give up everything for a white spouse. If they divorce you, then what are you left with?

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Shreema Mehta's avatar

It is extremely risky, both in terms of her survival and in terms of her children and what they will think of her!

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Patricia Staes's avatar

Very interesting. Thank you.

I grew up with a violent narcissistic father. he denigrated my looks and intelligence.

I once worked at a company that fired all 5 women in upper management on the same day.

I give men a wide berth. I don’t play the game unless my life is in danger and that has happened.

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Olivia Lake's avatar

We read Dworkin in college, and Susan Moller Okin. I’m not sure what wave of feminism I belong to. I couldn’t wear pants to school in 3d grade. In Oregon.

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𝙅𝙀 βš’πŸ“–πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ's avatar

The "waves" are different eras with different feminist theoretical approaches and thoughts. Third Wave started in around the 1990s..

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Cassidy Leary's avatar

Thank you for this! I too was previously wary of Dworkin for the same reasons you’ve mentioned but as I get older and grapple with the failings of the third wave I found myself more and more drawn to her. I’ll definitely be looking for a copy of Right Wing Women next time I’m in a bookshop.

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Lilian Nattel πŸ“šβ™€πŸŒ's avatar

Jo that was a horrible way for women you knew to respond to rape. When my h and I were dating I knew that when I disclosed the sexual abuse I experienced (which included rape), his reaction world determine if we had a future together. If he had responded in any way like those women he would have been gone. I learned that the hard way in my previous relationship. And yes re trans people. Thank you for your long post.

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Claire's avatar

Something I've noticed is how the previous stereotype of conservative women which used to be very modest, covered up with minimal makeup has now shifted to something extremely feminine coded, pink, more revealing, a lot more makeup etc. It's something I struggle to wrap my head around because when I was a kid, that was more liberal coded.

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𝙅𝙀 βš’πŸ“–πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ's avatar

Yes, because i think in the 90s and 2000s, conservative make up and clothes = conservative politics. Old money, Christian fundamentalism, Bush wives...

I grew in the bay area, and women here are dress more conservatively (little make up, conservative clothes, almost no one wears heels - for one, there are a lot of hills in San Francisco, and people walk a lot more). I can easily tell who the tourists or new in town are...

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Lilian Nattel πŸ“šβ™€πŸŒ's avatar

That is an interesting shift and more so because a number of religious groups still have the modesty rules yet that doesn't get in the way of this shift.

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𝙅𝙀 βš’πŸ“–πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ's avatar

it's strange, that the religious right here in the US is so enthusiastic about a leader who is openly materialistic, has affairs, has been found liable for sexual abuse...

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Solemna's avatar

So many thoughts inspired by your article, but I’m heading out for the day. Suffice it to say- thank you very much for your work and I’m looking forward to reading more!

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Lilian Nattel πŸ“šβ™€πŸŒ's avatar

They think he is an instrument of God and it shows how God can can use anyone however imperfect and they themselves are sinners who can yet do God's work.

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𝙅𝙀 βš’πŸ“–πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ's avatar

Yes, I think religion can be a force of good (peace, community), but too often, organized, hierarchical religion is used to manipulate and abuse.

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Lexi Eikelboom's avatar

Phenomenal. I just ordered all these books. I got divorced when I was 30. Your analysis resonates with my experience: only after I was divorced did my colleague start sexually harassing me.

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𝙅𝙀 βš’πŸ“–πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ's avatar

Glad you enjoyed the essay!

I've been a sexual assault survivor advocate for about eight years, that observation is based on the reading but what I've seen through my advocacy/work too.

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Brenden O'Donnell's avatar

Ooh yes…I’ve always been in the β€œbad rap” camp for Dworkin. Gayle Rubin’s side of the sex wars always made a lot more sense to me. But your article here shows Dworkin’s strengths and lasting significance. Thinking through her ideas now is oddly cathartic! Like…fuck. It shouldn’t be. But it is!

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𝙅𝙀 βš’πŸ“–πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ's avatar

I also read Dworkin's 'Woman Hating', which gets into the sex wars side. I personally didn't care for it nearly as much as I did 'Right Wing Women', which is about her stance on feminism. So I guess what I'm advocating for in this piece and the one before it to read Dworkin on feminism, and not on sexuality or pornography.

I think it is remarkable in that Dworkin was able to stand firm on her stance and yet have so much empathy for right wing/conservative women. Same for her fellow anti-pornography colleague, Catharine MacKinnon, who is perhaps the single greatest force on our legal thinking of sexual harassment.

I'm not a huge fan of Gayle Rubin (esp. around 'child porn panic') or the sex positivity movement - not that I think we should be 'sex negative' or anything! I just think that the sex+ movement isn't very honest with or about itself (and I live in San Francisco, which I feel is a big center for the movement).

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Brenden O'Donnell's avatar

Rubin definitely goes too far in the other direction! I just think she does an amazing job predicting some of the philosophical moves of queer theory by critiquing both second wave feminists and THE POPE in the same breath. Like…that was so visionary! And made so much sense. But yes. You’re right. The stuff about nambla was super gross. I think it was rhetorical mostly, but at what cost??

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𝙅𝙀 βš’πŸ“–πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ's avatar

Yes, I think that the earlier gay/lesbian movement in the era of Rubin, Harvey Milk, et al went really wrong with the defense of nambla/child porn, and the like. We (the broader LGBTQI+ spectrum) still have the "groomer" rhetoric to fight against, and I think that fight is a lot tougher for us because of that enormous misstep.

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Takeawaytalks@cassandralanger's avatar

To say nothing about her position on smbd. As if there isn’t enough pain in the world. But women should have the absolute right as adults to follow their desires and take full responsibility for them.

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Virginia Tidwell's avatar

Wow, this way so well written and gives me so much to think about!

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𝙅𝙀 βš’πŸ“–πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ's avatar

I'm "glad" you enjoyed it!

I say "glad", but I'm sure reading about this stuff is important and interesting, but happiness isn't the feeling that prompts...

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Maria Mackay's avatar

What an inspiring read! Thanks

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Would like to remain anonymous's avatar

Thank you. Interesting β€œ read β€œ. Different perspective. There is much in your article that I never understoodβ€” safety from rape….. How much pro birth factors into right wing ideology. Thanks again.

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𝙅𝙀 βš’πŸ“–πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ's avatar

I am "glad" you found value in the essay :)

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Would like to remain anonymous's avatar

Hi. There is so little we know about β€œ anything β€œ in life and we will not experience as much as we think we have. This is why we must read about the experiences of others. I found β€œ balcony incident β€œ as a cautionary tale for anyone who finds themselves with people who do not agree with them. Also explains why there are female branches of white nationalists organization. People think women naturally kindβ€”big mistake. Keep writing. Stories have value.

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𝙅𝙀 βš’πŸ“–πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ's avatar

Agreed on reading to learn more about the world. And agree that women (nor men) are intrinsically and always "good".

Thank you.

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Rosie Riverter's avatar

I label them as the patriarchal women: women who support the patriarchy and male domination. My twenty something niece calls them β€œthe pick me” women.

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𝙅𝙀 βš’πŸ“–πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ's avatar

Both are true, but this women also includes more than just the "pick me" women - a lot of women opt for safety by aligning themselves with a male partner.

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Rosie Riverter's avatar

Agree.

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Rosie Riverter's avatar

Also for financial security.

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𝙅𝙀 βš’πŸ“–πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ's avatar

Absolutely agree, especially if a couple has children together.

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