Another important read. The risk of losing desire is far more than sexual. I believe that the seat of creativity lies within desire. The more mechanical and fake we become, the less our capacity for joy, connection of all kinds, and more likely we will become alienated from our natural world.
Your work is desperately needed. I admire your diligence and commitment to writing about the issues that most reflect and illuminate the needs of our time.
The risk of losing desire is far more than sexual. Yes. I used "desire" in multiple contexts -- desire for creativity and for each in both other, both platonically and sexually.
Thank you so much for all your support and the kind words! As a relatively new writer (seven months), this means so much to me and really helps me keep going 💜
Thank you so much for the encouragement. I hope this will growing - I love writing, and it would be amazing to be able to do more of it and keep doing it.
I love how your essay culminates in the "mind-bending" nature of the internet—as thought desire has reached terminal velocity and we aren't noticing how fast we are going. The human mind wasn't made for this much satisfaction. Beautiful work weaving together all of these pieces <3
"Other than birth and death, it is the greatest mystery of our lives."
Indeed, desire (or craving, as it's sometimes referred to as) is a fundamental part of our nature; it underpins not only sexuality but everything from our basic needs to our reaching for the divine or sublime. It's as you point out in the Hindu concept of maya, even our desires have their time and place; they're not inherently wrong, wicked or evil but simply to be understood. That doesn't happen, however--it CAN'T happen--in a constant flood of gratification, simulated or otherwise. (How often has history told the story of the decandant lord or king destroying their kingdom because of their insatiable desire?)
I have spent much of my own life (don't we all try to some degree?) to get a handle, to understand and come to terms with my own desire, especially with regards to sexuality. One of the things I learned long ago was to distinguish between different types of love and to know that lust did not necessarily include love. (It should seem obvious, but we are blind to ourselves most of all.) I also learned to understand that how I saw an "object" that ellicited my desire (a product of my mind/body) was a person that could look and see the world in their own way, that what ellicited desire in myself was not necessarily ellicited in their own seeing. (How we see is as critical to understand as the subject or the object.)
Finally, I came to understand that I too want to be desired. I think this in particular may be something that men, especially men that are repressed and taught not to express their emotions, have a very difficult time with. ... That's putting it mildly, a complete understatement; it may be one of the major roots by which men who do such terrible things seem incapable of tearing up from their hearts and minds. Perhaps it's tied in with the idea of acheivment ... I'm not sure ... but isn't it something to know that someone knows that you want to be wanted? And that they want you? And that you can want them in return? And that that mutual affection is a beautiful, redemptive thing for both.
Thank you, Jo. You are tackling a difficult but important subject and I appreciate your courage and effort. As one saying in Buddhism goes, "There is no wisdom without vexation, no vexation without wisdom." If we live in a vexed time, we must find the wisdom to counterbalance it. Godspeed!
Great essay, thank you for writing! Your embrace of nuance has helped me explore some of my own thoughts on this topic, and I look forward to reading more from the authors you referenced.
"Desire is the root of suffering, or so Buddhists tell us" reminds me of an interesting point Thich Nhat Hanh wrote about how lists were treated in some Buddhist Sutras, but that is pretty off-topic. If you are curious, I can find the passage.
Another important read. The risk of losing desire is far more than sexual. I believe that the seat of creativity lies within desire. The more mechanical and fake we become, the less our capacity for joy, connection of all kinds, and more likely we will become alienated from our natural world.
Your work is desperately needed. I admire your diligence and commitment to writing about the issues that most reflect and illuminate the needs of our time.
The risk of losing desire is far more than sexual. Yes. I used "desire" in multiple contexts -- desire for creativity and for each in both other, both platonically and sexually.
Thank you so much for all your support and the kind words! As a relatively new writer (seven months), this means so much to me and really helps me keep going 💜
Wow! You’ve only been writing for 7 months? That’s hard to believe. You are doing so well. I’m glad. You deserve it.
Yes, I started near the end of 2024.
Thank you so much for the encouragement. I hope this will growing - I love writing, and it would be amazing to be able to do more of it and keep doing it.
I love how your essay culminates in the "mind-bending" nature of the internet—as thought desire has reached terminal velocity and we aren't noticing how fast we are going. The human mind wasn't made for this much satisfaction. Beautiful work weaving together all of these pieces <3
Thank you so much 💜
"Other than birth and death, it is the greatest mystery of our lives."
Indeed, desire (or craving, as it's sometimes referred to as) is a fundamental part of our nature; it underpins not only sexuality but everything from our basic needs to our reaching for the divine or sublime. It's as you point out in the Hindu concept of maya, even our desires have their time and place; they're not inherently wrong, wicked or evil but simply to be understood. That doesn't happen, however--it CAN'T happen--in a constant flood of gratification, simulated or otherwise. (How often has history told the story of the decandant lord or king destroying their kingdom because of their insatiable desire?)
I have spent much of my own life (don't we all try to some degree?) to get a handle, to understand and come to terms with my own desire, especially with regards to sexuality. One of the things I learned long ago was to distinguish between different types of love and to know that lust did not necessarily include love. (It should seem obvious, but we are blind to ourselves most of all.) I also learned to understand that how I saw an "object" that ellicited my desire (a product of my mind/body) was a person that could look and see the world in their own way, that what ellicited desire in myself was not necessarily ellicited in their own seeing. (How we see is as critical to understand as the subject or the object.)
Finally, I came to understand that I too want to be desired. I think this in particular may be something that men, especially men that are repressed and taught not to express their emotions, have a very difficult time with. ... That's putting it mildly, a complete understatement; it may be one of the major roots by which men who do such terrible things seem incapable of tearing up from their hearts and minds. Perhaps it's tied in with the idea of acheivment ... I'm not sure ... but isn't it something to know that someone knows that you want to be wanted? And that they want you? And that you can want them in return? And that that mutual affection is a beautiful, redemptive thing for both.
Thank you, Jo. You are tackling a difficult but important subject and I appreciate your courage and effort. As one saying in Buddhism goes, "There is no wisdom without vexation, no vexation without wisdom." If we live in a vexed time, we must find the wisdom to counterbalance it. Godspeed!
Great essay, thank you for writing! Your embrace of nuance has helped me explore some of my own thoughts on this topic, and I look forward to reading more from the authors you referenced.
"Desire is the root of suffering, or so Buddhists tell us" reminds me of an interesting point Thich Nhat Hanh wrote about how lists were treated in some Buddhist Sutras, but that is pretty off-topic. If you are curious, I can find the passage.
Best wishes!